Yams and Niyams of Patanjali yoga Sutras

Now for the yams and Niyams of Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras .
Most people think yoga is only about postures (asanas), but in Patanjali’s teachings, yoga is much deeper.
The word Yoga comes from the Sanskrit root “Yuj”, which means to join, unite, or yoke.
So then,
Yoga is the journey from the restless mind to the peaceful Self. It is not just bending the body; it is learning to live in harmony with ourselves, others, and the Divine.
This is why Patanjali begins with the Yamas and Niyamas. Before mastering postures or meditation, we learn how to live in harmony with ourselves and others. That harmony is the foundation of Yoga.
Through the YAms Niyams or I prefer to call them the commandments of Yoga, we learn about :
Union of the individual self with the Universal Self.
Bringing harmony between body, mind, heart, and spirit.
Moving from inner conflict to inner peace.
Discovering our true nature beyond thoughts, emotions, and ego.
We shall first learn about the first commandment tomorrow… until then remember when you do your Yoga exercises that there is much more to yoga then providing you with only a healthy body 🙏

Malu says:
Good morning.
My mind is generally all over the place .
I have been doing minimum 20 minutes of pranayama everyday.
I see a huge change .
Mind is more centered. Quality of thoughts have shifted .
Needless to say , reading the summaries that you share here has added to the shift.
Thank you thank you thank you.!

I, Shakun say : thankyou for your kind words .
Now, let us look at the Sutras that Patanjali prescribes
Who is Patanjali ?
Patanjali is a revered sage in the Indian tradition, best known as the author (or compiler) of the Yoga Sutras, one of the foundational texts of yoga philosophy.
Patanjali matters today, because
Modern yoga classes often focus on physical postures, but Patañjali’s teachings emphasize a much broader path involving ethics, concentration, meditation, and self-realization. His work remains one of the most influential texts in yoga philosophy world worldwide.

The first Yama in Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras is Ahimsa (Non-violence).
Ahimsa means not causing harm to any living being.
It is not only about avoiding physical violence; it also means being kind in our thoughts, gentle in our words, and considerate in our actions.
In short :
Non-violence in thought, word, and deed.

Now let us think !
1) Do we hurt others through anger, criticism, or selfish behavior.
Do we treat people, animals, and nature with respect?
Do we learn to respond with understanding rather than aggression?
Think about it ! And if you like respond …and let me know if you would like me to mention your name or not ? Maybe we could work through our shortcomings …?
What do you think?

Anonymous 1 asks:
I believe that when you have an issue with a close family and you cannot move away from that person , or you do not wish to move away from, is it better to not respond rather than have words. When you don’t respond or walk away, you could be labelled as rude, but if you speak words, cruel words you cannot take them back. What is your opinion in that? Also if it is not a close family member it is better to just move away if you don’t get along. Please answer these two questions.
I, Shakun believe :

When it is a close family member and you cannot or do not want to walk away from that person,
In the heat of anger, silence is often better than hurtful words.
Words spoken in anger can leave wounds that last for years. An argument may end, but people often remember the cruel things that were said. Walking away, remaining silent, or saying, “Let’s discuss this later,” can prevent damage that cannot easily be undone.
However, silence should/could be temporary, not permanent.

If we never express our feelings, resentment can build up inside.
But when/if you decide to speak. Speak when calm, speak honestly but kindly.
As Patanjali’s principle of Ahimsa suggests, non-violence applies not only to actions but also to speech. Sometimes the most non-violent action is to say nothing until the mind is peaceful.

When it is not a close family member
Generally, yes, it is often wiser to create distance from relationships that are consistently unhealthy, disrespectful, or draining.
Not every disagreement requires us to stay and fight. Some people are simply incompatible in values, temperament, or expectations. If repeated efforts to communicate respectfully do not help, moving away peacefully may be the healthiest choice.

That said, “moving away” does not necessarily mean cutting someone off dramatically. It can simply mean:

Spending less time with them.
Not engaging in unnecessary arguments.
Maintaining polite but limited contact.
Protecting your peace.

A simple way to remember it
With close family: pause, calm down, then communicate.
With others: if the relationship repeatedly brings conflict and cannot be improved, create healthy distance.

There is a saying:
“Speak only if your words are more beautiful than your silence.”
Silence is not weakness. Sometimes it is wisdom. But eventually, where love and relationship matter, silence should make room for gentle and truthful communication. 🙏🏻

At this point, let me put out a disclaimer…
The above are my views on the question posted.
You may have a different opinion on it and that’s fine. Since each question requires a lengthy answer. I shall post the other questions and answers later. Take care and God bless.🙏

Aasha says:
Yes I agree that it’s a balance of mind first and then body balance. By this time at this age we should have control over our behaviour with respect to others with who we interact daily, our family, friends and helpers, of course not forgetting kindness to animals , and tenderness to plants. If we cannot balance our mindfulness then we can’t balance our bodies, we cannot do the proper Yoga. It’s imperative for both body and mind to be in synchrony 🙏
I also believe, it is better to keep a distance rather than give a prompt response to someone who’s rude, better not fall to their level. It’s safer for our own peace of mind 👍
Viveeta says:
Shakun isn’t
It better to be open and upfront to clear one’s differences? I feel if it’s done nicely the person will not be hurt and just being silent will breed more anger which in turn will create stress leading to ill health. After one clears the air then one can decide whether to continue a relationship or not .

I , Shakun reply to Viveeta :
Yes dear I have mentioned that … when /if clear/calm it is better to speak it out, rather than let it fester… but it is important to be able to speak calmly and respectfully…

Anonymous 2 says:
I feel if you are getting hurt and humiliated, then
Best thing is to move away, but if you can’t then keep your dignity and stay silent. This way you are not harming yourself and you are more peaceful. This is what I practice.

I, Shakun reply:
I agree, but if you have to continue in the relationship,
do speak out about your feelings when you are calm , otherwise the resentment increases and sometimes affects your health…

Anonymous 3 says:
Yes, I am guilty. I am extremely critical and judgemental. I tried to control these horrible traits but now and again they just arise and the minute I think and act on it the next minute I am regretting it and feeling that yes I should not have opened my mouth or I should’ve controlled my thoughts. Another trait of mine is I am selfish. Again I know that I have been selfish and I immediately feel bad about it but I don’t admit it openly. I should be able to say I’m sorry I did it , and it should be addressed to that person….
I Shakun would say:
The fact that you can see these traits in yourself and feel genuine remorse is already a sign of awareness and growth. Many people spend a lifetime blaming others and never look within.

Being critical, judgmental, or selfish at times is part of being human. What matters is that you recognize it, learn from it, and make an effort to do better next time.

I feel the next step is exactly what you have identified yourself: when possible, acknowledge it to the person concerned and simply say, “I am sorry, I was wrong.” That takes courage and humility.

Please be kind to yourself as well. Transformation usually happens gradually. Awareness, regret, sincere apology, and a renewed effort are all part of the journey.

Vanisha says:
I love the analogy of the key n lock….it’s the difference of its function…we open our mind to knowledge,truth and acceptance and should REALLY learn to lock it when anger jealousy,hate overcome our thoughts(mind)….
Which leads to caustic reactions…The key lies within our control and must be used as per the need .We have to learn to keep boundaries and use it for our benefit .The key 🗝️ to our mind 🔒 is unique and should be used with precision.
I , Shakun say:
Yes and the same key of the lock of the mind makes you dance with joy and the same key of the lock of the mind makes you cry in despair…so befriend it…

The second Yama in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali is Satya (Truthfulness).
Satya means being truthful in thought, speech, and action. It is not merely about avoiding lies; it is about aligning what you think, what you say, and what you do.
A deeper understanding
In yoga philosophy, truthfulness should always be guided by the first Yama, Ahimsa (non-violence). If speaking a truth would unnecessarily hurt someone, one should express it with kindness, sensitivity, and compassion.
Everyday examples
Speaking honestly rather than exaggerating or misleading.
Admitting mistakes instead of making excuses.
Being genuine rather than pretending to be someone you are not.
Being truthful with yourself about your strengths, weaknesses, desires, and fears.
A common interpretation is:
When a person is firmly established in truthfulness, their words gain power and credibility; what they say tends to bear fruit.
In fact, I have heard that blessings of Saints come true because their ‘vani! ( words, what they say) is truthful in speech thought and action.

In one sentence
Satya is living in harmony with reality honest with yourself and others, while expressing truth with wisdom and kindness. And ofcourse being ‘aware’ 🙏

I said yesterday that Truthfulness or Satya means being truthful in thought , speech and action…
Character is:
Thinking …Speaking… and Acting in the same direction.
Have you heard the term ‘walk the talk’?
But
“Don’t merely ask: Are my thoughts, words, and actions aligned?
History gives us many examples of people who acted consistently according to their beliefs, but whose beliefs caused great harm.

In Hinduism, alignment alone is not considered a virtue. A person must also have viveka (discernment)—the ability to distinguish what is beneficial from what is harmful. One could say:

Alignment without wisdom can be dangerous.
Wisdom without alignment is ineffective.
Character requires both.
Also ask: Are my actions aligned with truth, kindness, and the well-being of others?”
So
To be truthful one requires Viveka ,
I knew someone who would say rude things to people and add ; I am speaking the truth … !
The power to discern ultimate right from wrong requires what in Indian parlance is called viveka !
Today’s lessons really makes you think no?
Any questions?

Aasha says: I agree, even if you feel your words are true, there is a way of saying it, not random words which may hurt feelings of others, at this age we have to pause and think what we say. We are not children who sometimes speak rash rude words. Vivek is the right word, we should think if I say this word to someone, in retrospect would I like it if it is said to me? Think before you speak is an old phrase which we should be able to easily practice at this age in our life.
Anonymous says:
I also know of someone who says hurtful things and says she is speaking her truth and she is being authentic. I always wonder about that.
Huri says:
YOU MAY NOT LIKE SOMEONE BUT DONT TELL HER JUST DISCONNECT N BE CALM N KIND COMPASSIONATE IS THE NAME OF THE GAME.

I , Shakun feel:
Three things worth checking before one speaks :
Is it True,
Is it real, or just what I’m feeling right now? We can speak from hurt, from assumption, from wanting to win. Truth means: do I actually know this, or am I guessing?
Maybe her/his behaviour is coming from a ‘hurt! ‘Belief’ ‘fear’ I know nothing about

Need
Does this need to be said by me, need to be said now, need to be said at all? Some thoughts are just for you to sit with. Not every honest thought is a useful one.

Kindness
You can tell hard truths kindly.

Buddha had a version of this: “Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it kind?” If it misses 2 of 3, maybe keep it for saying it another time! Or don’t say it at all!

On another note I want to share what my Guru Ma Indira Devi had to say about Gyan and Bhakti :
I read a little quote of hers every morning so I thought that I would share this one with you …
Just so that you understand what my guru spoke and the subtle humour in her words. ( I shall explain it , after her quote)

She said.
We bow at the lotus feet of the formless divine’ you cannot. He has no lotus feet or any feet for that matter. But the urge in the human heart is not to become sugar but to eat sugar. So He is bound by love to come down and to have display of a little pain of a little joy of a little hide and seek a little give-and-take, the perfect surrender of the devotee, and the Divine lover in his absolute divinity come down as a human being.
Now this is kind of an understanding between Gyan and Bhakti…
So here is the explanation :

Ma begins by almost pulling the rug out from under a devotional phrase:

“We bow at the lotus feet of the formless Divine.”

And then she points out the obvious absurdity:

“You cannot. He has no lotus feet—or any feet, for that matter.”
😄
There is a gentle teasing there. Not mocking devotion, but teasing our tendency to speak in images while forgetting what we are saying.
It’s a bit like a philosopher interrupting a poet.

The devotee says:

“I bow at the lotus feet.”

The philosopher says:

“What feet?”

And then comes the beautiful turn.

Instead of ending in dry philosophy—“therefore all forms are illusion”—she goes in the opposite direction.

She says, in effect:

“Yes, the Divine is formless.
But the human heart wants relationship.”

And then that wonderful image:

“The urge in the human heart is not to become sugar but to eat sugar.”

I love that.

Because in many traditions there is a tension between:
…becoming one with the Absolute,
…and loving the Absolute.

The Gyani says:
“I am That.”

The bhakta says:
“Yes, but I want to love That.”

The sugar metaphor captures that perfectly. The devotee is saying:

“I don’t merely want to be sweetness.
I want to taste sweetness.”

And then comes what I think is the deepest and most playful part:

“He is bound by love to come down…”

The Infinite, which cannot be confined by the universe itself, is somehow “bound” by love.

There is a delightful paradox there.

The Almighty cannot be compelled by power.
Cannot be compelled by logic.
Cannot be compelled by philosophy.

But somehow love manages it. 😄

So the formless takes form.
The infinite accepts limitation.
The divine participates in pain, joy, hide-and-seek, giving and receiving.

Not because it must.

Because love wants a relationship.

That phrase “a little hide and seek” especially touches me. It has the flavour of Krishna. The Divine is not merely a cosmic principle to be understood; He becomes a playmate, a beloved, someone who can be sought and found.
We often ask profound philosophical questions, but our heart does not seem satisfied with philosophy alone.

We don’t merely want truth as an abstract principle.

Ma made everyone laugh about the Divine having no feet…

…and then quietly led them into one of the deepest mysteries of bhakti. 😄🙏🏻

And here are some comments on the last two notes:

Asha says:
I believe, speak the truth , but don’t serve it so Bitterly that no one can Swallow it. ……………………
Don’t be Bitter like a Hammer 🔨 A pinch Of Humour , will work much better , it reaches the ♥️ without hurting it.

And in answer to my Guru’s note on Gyan and Bhakti Shanti says:
So beautifully and divinely explained… you remember how much problem I had with serious Aatman /Brahma Gyan and you were so very instrumental in giving me hope to understanding with love!
Roshni says : I love what Ma has said.
This is exactly what my Guru says. As long as we think of ourselves as a body, we seek to worship the Lord as a body . But the day we realize we are a soul, we will realize Him as Infinite…

The next yam or commandment from Patanjali Yoga Sutras is Asteya

Asteya is one of those virtues that seems simple—“Do not steal.” But in the yogic tradition, it goes much deeper than not taking someone else’s wallet.

In Yoga Sutras, Asteya is the third of the Yamas, the ethical foundations of yoga.

“Whenever we take what is not freely given—whether it is an object, time, credit, attention, peace of mind, or even another person’s opportunity—we are violating Asteya.”

Have you done
Physical stealing
Taking money or possessions?
Cheating in an exam?
Stealing time?
This is something everyone understands.
Arriving habitually late.
Wasting someone’s time because we did not prepare to be on time?
Keeping people waiting unnecessarily?

Stealing credit
Taking praise for another person’s work.
Not acknowledging those who helped us.
Interrupting so much that others never get to express themselves.
Stealing peace?

The following is subtler.
Gossip.
Making promises we don’t intend to keep.
Manipulating people emotionally.
Creating unnecessary worry.

Stealing from ourselves
When we waste our own talents through laziness, dishonesty, or fear, we steal from the person we could become.
People who know me tell me I do a lot, but all I did, to be able to talk, write, sing, Dance was open doors that appeared in my corridor. I remember a time when I had ‘spoken ‘and my friends asked me to give notes on what I had said, and I asked my husband, do you think I could write a book on it and he answered why not? I said but I have never written and he replied with a smile, but you did not know that you could speak until you did.! so we really do not know what we are capable of until we try. I am told that everyone has a talent which has never been tapped. So maybe Patanjali is speaking about this.
And now…
Oh my God! 😱
I guess I shall get no comments or confessions on the above , because somewhere or the other , sometimes we may always be guilty… but … maybe we could get a little aware of where we are most guilty… no?
What do you think ?

So yesterday’s note gave us a lot to think about…
And I thought that if there was complete silence after yesterday’s note, I would assume one of two things: either everyone practises perfect Asteya (non-stealing), or everyone is quietly examining their own conscience. And I was hoping for the second!
So Aasha says:”It’s true, as kids or as students early in life we may have ‘stolen’ non-material things because at that time we were unaware. But later, as we grew up, we learned the true moral values of no lies, no copying, no interruptions in others’ conversations. We became aware and checked our behaviour in these situations. We may have been guilty of this at some point, but we made up for it by following these principles and instilling them in our children.”

Mani compliments my note. She says:”Brilliant! And to the point… in a heart-piercing way!!”

And I, Shakun, say:
Thank you, Aasha and Mani.
If yesterday’s note made us pause for even a few moments and look within, it has already served its purpose. The Yoga Sutras are not meant to make us feel guilty about the past; they are meant to make us more aware in the present.
The beauty of Asteya is that once we become conscious of the subtle ways we may ‘take’ what is not freely given—whether it is someone’s time, peace of mind, ideas, attention, or credit—we naturally begin to respect these gifts in others.
None of us needs to be perfect. We only need to be a little more aware today than we were yesterday.
Think about it some more… see you tomorrow! God bless!

Salome says :
To be aware of one’s failings is the 1st step to self realisation
These points are so beautifully expressed it is food for thought
Thank you Shakun

Huri says:
YES MORE AWARE EVERY TIME

Deepika says:
I was Blessed by my professor in college when I copied someone’s notes and presented them as my own.
He wrote: thanks for using a crutch, you will fall from it one day n nobody will save you.
As I was one of the toppers and still I did it to avoid writing myself that day….I felt thankful to him and kept
It as my life long mantra .
Don’t use a crutch in any walk of life
Do it on your own
It’s made my life easy.
I used to also procrastinate to reach places and cdnt go as I mentally felt low.
Then I did workshops to work on myself …now I reach early everywhere.

I Shakun says :
Salome, beautifully said. Awareness is indeed the first step towards growth. Once we can see ourselves clearly, change becomes possible. Thank you for your appreciation . It does encourage me to keep going ❤️

Huri, exactly! Every moment of awareness is a step forward. We are all learning, one observation at a time. 😊 Thinking of Asteya, where have you noticed awareness helping you respect your own time, energy, or that of others?

Deepika, thank you for sharing such a meaningful experience. Your professor gave you a lesson for life. I love your thought: “Don’t use a crutch.” When we trust our own abilities instead of taking shortcuts, we discover our true strength.

“Don’t use a crutch” is a lesson that reaches far beyond college. In the spirit of Asteya, do you think relying on shortcuts sometimes steals from our own potential?

The questions that I have posed for Huri and Deepika are a question for all readers including myself … see you tomorrow 🙏😊

Viveeta says:
Loved this Shakun, it has given me such an in-depth insight into the meaning of stealing and has made me rethink of all my actions. I would have never associated stealing with time ! Thank you!
Deepika says:
I mean I can do the work which our house help does for us ….when I had a big theft in 2003 I learnt to take it in my stride as a Blessing from God.
It changed my life.
I learnt all the work our house help does .
I had seven house helps… who stole
Then that day when they got caught I had 50people coming for Ganpati darshan to my house.
I had no help but I continued with the day and managed everything by myself with my children s help.
That’s the day I became stronger than ever and never felt lesser without staff.
My children are very proud of this as it engrained humbleness in them too.
We are liberated from the crutches of external help physicaly or mentally.
We know the drill.
We are self dependent in many walks of life … one only needs a mindset without shame.
This is not for everyday but anytime if required .
Secondly it leads to a strong mindset of belief to face any health issues too.
Have faith
Aasha says: Yes 🙌 it’s true 👍 let’s avoid crutches even at this age and stage of life, we are denying our own potential!
Mani says:
Don’t climb onto someone else’s bandwagon. Make your own bandwagon. This is an old American saying.
Roshni says:
Many years ago I heard Rajneesh talk of awareness. I didn’t understand it then but I now understand how important awareness is. We can change and improve when we are aware of ourselves and our shortcomings.
Shanti says:
Just love the way you summarise and give the essence of what the other participants feel!
And I, Shakun say:
Thank you,
I simply try to hear the heart behind the words and express the essence. I’m glad it resonates. 😊🙏❤️

The next Yam in Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras is :
Brahmacharya

Brahmacharya is one of those Yams that is often misunderstood, because people immediately think it only means celibacy.
In the broader sense given in the Yoga Sutras and Vedanta, it is much richer than that.

Brahmacharya is the wise use of our energy.

“Brahma” means the Highest Reality, and “charya” means to move or to live.
Maybe it could mean to live and move like Brahma would?
Brahmacharya is living in a way that moves us towards the Highest, rather than away from it.
It asks us to enjoy life without becoming slaves to our senses. It teaches moderation instead of excess…awareness instead of impulse …and mastery instead of indulgence.
Some examples:
Eating until we are nourished, not until we are uncomfortable.

Speaking when our words are helpful, not simply because we feel like talking.

Using our phone as a tool instead of letting it control us.
Not pushing ourselves to exhaustion, but resting when needed.
“Have you ever noticed how scattered one feels after hours of mindless scrolling, and how peaceful one feels after spending an hour reading, walking, praying, or serving someone? That difference is the beginning of understanding Brahmacharya.”

“Every day God gives us a purse full of energy. We should Spend it carefully.
Not waste it on things that leave one empty.”
“The question is not, ‘What must I give up?’ The question is, ‘What is worth giving my life to?’”

Brahmacharya is not about suppressing desire. It is about discovering something so meaningful that lesser desires naturally lose their grip. When the mind finds a higher joy, it no longer keeps begging for smaller pleasures.

And, as I often say: I don’t rush through these teachings. I let them settle like seeds.
Yesterday, a well-wisher called me and said, “You are awakening people.”

If that is truly so, then let this awakening begin with honest self-reflection.

Please go through the points above, notice which one speaks to you most, make a note of what you would like to improve, and do let me know if you will… That is where real ‘waking up’ happens. 🙏😊

Manisha says:
Love the way you explain the many meanings to Brahamacharya. It applies to so many more aspects of our life, making it more doable rather than just “celibacy or restraint” 🙏🏻💕

Aasha says :
Yes your msgs are real Eye Openers , look forward to reading them every morning 😇
I, Shakun say: thankyou dearies, as I say appreciation does make my ‘keeping going’ more enjoyable and fulfilling 🙏😊❤️

Mani says :
I’m understanding that now I am more alert , imore aware and more conscious of my actions. The first stage of my life went like a breeze I didn’t understand or realised any of the above dictates. Now at this stage of my life I am realising and appreciating all the right things I have to do.
I think what I mean is that now I am much more alert, aware, and conscious of my thoughts and actions. In the first stage of my life, everything seemed to pass in a rush, and I wasn’t really aware of these values or living them consciously.
Now, at this stage of my life, I find myself appreciating these teachings much more deeply. I understand their importance and genuinely want to live by them. So, in that sense, Brahmacharya has become meaningful to me now in a way it wasn’t earlier.

I, Shakun say:
I think many of us can relate to that. Perhaps this is why the scriptures say that true learning ripens with experience.
I understand what you mean, and I think many of us feel this way. As we grow older, life itself teaches us many lessons, and we naturally become more aware and reflective.

At the same time, this is also why the scriptures encourage us to begin cultivating these values when we are young. The earlier we learn to direct our energy wisely, the more deeply these values become part of our character and the more they guide the choices we make throughout life.

However, it is never too late. The fact that these teachings are resonating with you now is itself a blessing. Every stage of life has its own opportunity for growth, and the important thing is not when we begin, but that we do begin.

I personally have lived a full life, yet I never tire of thanking my mother for instilling spiritual sanskars ( tendencies) in me from childhood. Looking back , I truly believe they helped me navigate life’s joys and challenges with greater understanding and steadiness 😊🙏❤️

Sapna says:
Thanking you today and everyday for this knowledge you share.. it’s a very good reminder too.
Since I met my Guru I have realised a lot more about life..
I learned that we are spiritual beings having a human experience.
I learned that as we sow so shall we reap.
it encouraged me to value the teachings of my mother n Guru more,
being a good human, doing good karmas
Doing seva.. it’s a humbling experience…
I have been doing seva for 35 years and I do water Seva every Thursday …
I learned to give back to society and honour my family and friends .
Meditation, Faith in Guru gives strength to face life
and learning is still going on
Through you and my GURU
THANK YOU

Nisha says:
Spirituality practiced with a pure sincere heart will always be our support system for life …a lot of things might change along the way but practising spirituality with dedication just gets more & more deeply embedded in a persons mind body & soul …it gets deeper & deeper & one gets more free & light with time 🙏 one finally becomes Evolved & that is the Ultimate!

I, Shakun say:
Thankyou for your kind words and input , my readers often tell me that they enjoy the interaction …
Messages like these remind me why I don’t like to rush through the scriptures. There is no race to finish them. What matters is pausing, reflecting, and allowing the teachings to become part of our lives.
It reflects the spirit of Vedanta: Transformation matters more than completion.
Also
I truly enjoy reading everyone’s inputs and reflections. The interaction enriches our journey and reminds me that, while I may be sharing the teachings, we are all learning together. 🙏❤️

Nitu says:
I love the way you explain Bramacharya , through the examples. It is so true, only with years of experience you grasp the teachings better.

I, Shakun say:
Thank you, Nitu. 🙏
I feel the same. The teachings remain the same, but as we grow and gain experience, we begin to understand them more deeply. That’s what makes the scriptures so beautiful—they keep revealing new meanings throughout life.
And,
Today I shall share an interesting dialogue that I had with Viveeta.
Viveeta said :
I’ve always been told that I talk too much and I’m going to make a conscious effort to keep quiet . I’m still addicted to my phone but not yet ready to let go . Will certainly take a step at a time and I’m sure it will happen!🙏
I , Shakun replied:
“What’s wrong with talking too much? I talk too much myself! 😂
The question is perhaps not how much we talk, but how we talk. If our words are kind, to the point, and don’t hurt anyone, they can be a blessing. The fact that you’re becoming more conscious is already a beautiful step. And as for the phone, one step at a time is often the best way. 🙏”

Viveeta then said :
😂that makes me feel good and not doubt myself !
Yet, In this world there are all kinds of people, some silent and some bottle everything within… and some just say it, and get it off their chest and forget about it . I guess
I belong to the second category 😊
I, Shakun reply:
I think you’re right. We all have different temperaments. Some people keep everything bottled up inside, while others express what they feel, get it off their chest, and move on. Neither is automatically better than the other.

The important thing is that our words come from kindness, awareness, and consideration—not impulse or the desire to hurt. It sounds to me like you belong to the second category, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Becoming a little more conscious of when and how we speak is all part of the journey. 😊🙏❤️

Aasha says:
Once again, I would say that words spoken carelessly, without thinking of the effect they may have on another person, show a lack of awareness. At this stage in life, awareness is of prime importance. In fact, I think most of us, with age and experience, naturally become more sensitive to the feelings of others.

I also don’t think we can excuse ourselves by saying, “That’s just my tone.” Kindness is our responsibility. Truth can always be spoken with kindness and gentleness.

So, if our words are truthful, kind, and spoken with consideration, then I don’t think it’s a problem whether we talk a lot—on the phone or in person. That’s just my opinion. 🙏

I, Shakun say:
I agree!
Talking a lot is not the problem. The real question is whether our words are kind, truthful, and spoken with awareness of how they may affect the other person. As we grow older, I think we naturally become more sensitive to others’ feelings. Saying, “That’s just my tone,” or “I am speaking the truth” isn’t really an excuse. We can always choose to speak with kindness. ❤️

Before we speak, it is worth pausing for a moment and asking ourselves a few simple questions:

Is it true?
Is it necessary?
Is it kind?
Is it helpful?
Is it gentle?
Is this the right time to say it?
Will it uplift or encourage, rather than discourage?

If the answer to these questions is “yes,” our words are more likely to heal than hurt.

Speech is a powerful gift. Once words leave our lips, they cannot be taken back. A few moments of awareness before speaking can save us and others from unnecessary pain.

Kind, truthful, thoughtful words not only reflect our character—they also bring peace to our relationships and to our own minds. 🙏

Viveeta says:
Thank you. It certainly answers my questions! When I talk or correct someone, it’s always done in a kind tone. But by talking too much, I mean that I often give out more information than is necessary, and that’s something I need to work on.

I, Shakun say:
I understand now. Yes, giving too much information is different from talking too much. Awareness is the key. With a little mindfulness, we’ll naturally learn what is necessary to say and what is better left unsaid. We’re all works in progress.
I often wonder what is the difference between gossiping and giving News?
I have realised that,
A simple way to distinguish them is this:

Sharing news is primarily about informing.
Gossip is primarily about discussing people.

Ask yourself :
Why am I saying this?
To inform someone who genuinely needs to know?
To entertain, judge, or satisfy curiosity?(this is mostly gossip.)
Does the listener need this information?
If yes, it may be appropriate.
If not, ask whether it really adds value.
Would I say the same thing if the person were standing here?
If yes, you’re more likely being honest and transparent.
If no, it’s worth asking why.
Ask yourself:
What effect will my words have?
News tends to increase understanding or help someone.
Gossip often diminishes someone’s reputation or encourages unnecessary judgment.

Salome says :
Please compile this into a book Shakun
You are making us aware of deeper more subtle insights into the scriptures
Can’t Thank You enough
God Bless🙏❤️

I, Shakun reply:
Thankyou for your kind words ,

Dal Sabzi for Aatman

I am adding all I share into my website, which will be converted into a digital book by my grandsons and placed on my website under books for free perusal 🙏❤️😊

Anonymous asks:
Dear Shakun .. aunty, I’m carrying a big burden of a near one .
Regarding money I had kept a few lacs for years with this person.
Then two years ago the person called me a liar n said there was not that much amount of money …but maybe a little …speaking in front of others .
I can’t get over it….n I can’t rest whenever I think of that day.
I’ve not had the courage to talk about it again as the person is too close a relative.
But I feel I shd once clear it before it’s too late.
Please advice as we are on the topic of how words spoken, affect a relationship when you have done nothing wrong

I Shakun say:
I’m sorry you’re carrying this.
From what you’ve shared, it sounds as though the money is not the deepest wound—the broken trust is.

If I understand correctly, she borrowed ₹5 lakhs from you.
When the money was mentioned, she denied it and even called you a liar. Is that right?

If so, it is natural to feel hurt, sad, and haunted by it.

If you feel you need to ask her about it, do so, not to prove that you are right or to force her to admit that she is wrong, but to seek clarity and peace within yourself. Speak calmly, without anger, and be prepared for the possibility that she may still deny it.

Sometimes, the conversation heals the relationship. Sometimes, it simply gives us closure. We cannot control another person’s response, but we can ensure that our own words are truthful, respectful, and free from bitterness.

Before you speak to her, ask yourself: “If she never admits the truth, what will I do?” Your peace should not depend entirely on her answer.

The money may or may not return. The relationship may or may not recover. But don’t let this experience take away your own integrity and compassion.

I do hope that, whatever the outcome, your heart finds peace.

Also remember, the mind can become either our worst enemy or our best friend. If we allow it to keep replaying the hurt, imagining conversations and expecting different outcomes, it will continue to torment us. But if we guide the mind with wisdom, compassion, and acceptance of what we cannot control, it becomes our greatest ally. The situation may not change immediately, but our relationship with the situation can.

One thought that has often helped me in difficult situations is this: perhaps, knowingly or unknowingly, one may have caused someone similar pain at some point—even if not in this lifetime. I don’t dwell on whether that is literally true, but thinking this way softens my heart. Instead of asking, “Why is this happening to me?” I begin to think, “Perhaps life is teaching me how deeply such actions can hurt another person.” That thought doesn’t erase the pain, but it replaces resentment with understanding, and understanding brings peace.