Thoughts On Man, Woman and Marriages

A sad thing is happening now-a-days…More and more marriages are breaking up! What is the reason? Perhaps a little effort to understand, will help! Maybe marriages were fractured during earlier times too…but there must have been an invisible bandage on them! Why invisible? Because there was minimum interaction between man and woman. An ideal woman should be seen, not heard! That is what most mothers-in-law and husbands believed! Some believed that, a woman should not even be seen! But today, a man wants an intelligent and thinking wife, by his side.

What does a woman do, to attract a man? Act dumb or smart? Being true to herself is the answer. And by and large, a woman is essentially a soft sensitive creation.

Bharati Nirmal says that: ‘Woman is very emotional and sensitive. This same emotionality, if given a downward direction, can get converted into touchiness or negative emotions like jealousy, envy, hatred…but when an upward thrust is given to the same energy, it converts itself into sensitivity, which brings about understanding, empathy, love.’

Jaya Row, A Bhagavad Geeta teacher states: ‘Women are softer, kinder, yet strong. In the India tradition they are akin to Shakti, the female principle’

‘To be strong does not mean to sprout muscles and flex… Clarisa Pinkola Estes stated in ‘Women who run with the wolves’.

Women do not need to smoke to become like men. Osho said that ‘the only hope for humanity is the softness of women, not the hardness of men’.

A woman should know that despite everything, she is the stronger sex. If that was not so, nature would not gifted her, the ‘gift’ of child bearing!

Osho said: The woman is capable of producing life; man is not. In that way, he is inferior, and that inferiority has played a great role in the domination of women by man.

Boys talk about wanting to marry career women…yet they are finding it harder and harder to make a commitment to marriage. Women are confused between opting for a marriage and/or career…Would it have been better if they did not have a career, and they had no choice but to get married and consider their husbands their Pati Parmeshwar.

I don’t think so, because, then, they would be totally dependant on the man…or to the male figure in their lives, if the husband died or deserted them…

Yet do they have to spend their lives, not marrying, just because they have a career and can financially support themselves? That, does not seem to be the answer…As Christ said: ‘Man does not live by bread alone…’ What can be more satisfying than a loving and supporting spouse and kids?

Why is a career woman afraid to marry?

Tolle says: ‘The energy frequency of the mind appears to be essentially male. The mind resists, fights for control, uses, manipulates, attacks, tries to grasp and possess and so on. This is why the traditional God is a patriarchal, controlling authority figure… Lysebeth says: ‘…to emerge from this, man must be willing to rediscover his own hidden repressed femininity.’

I was reading the other day that great communication and sex are not the most important requisites of good marriages. It is being kind to each other. A squeeze of hand…a supportive word…and yes, meaning it when you say: ‘Thank you and sorry!’

Those who marry only for pleasure are sorely disappointed. The essential difficulties of life are not given a send off under the wedding canopy. A happy marriage is possible when though being united physically, both partners contribute to each other’s progress as individuals.

Khalil Gibran has rightly said of marriage: ‘You were born together and together you shall be for evermore. You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days. Aye you shall be together even in the silent memory of God. But let there be spaces in your togetherness. And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.