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Anonymous asks :
Shakun it’s always valuable to attend your classes or talk to you.
My question is How many of us have experienced the freedom of our inner world .. and used it to elevate ourselves inspite of our outer circumstances.
We attend satsangs, listen to spiritual teachings and often understand what is being taught. Yet, despite all this knowledge, why do we sometimes continue to behave in the same old ways? Why does knowing what is right not necessarily bring about a change in the way we think, feel and live?
What is it that prevents knowledge from becoming transformation?
I , Shakun say:
This is a very interesting question, because I think many of us have experienced exactly this.
We listen to satsang, read the Gita, hear beautiful words about patience, forgiveness, detachment, compassion and surrender—and while listening, we may even think, “Yes, I understand this completely.” Yet the moment life tests us, the old reactions return. 😊
Perhaps the problem is that knowing something and living it are two very different things. Satsang gives us knowledge, but transformation requires us to practise that knowledge in the small, ordinary situations of our daily life.
We may know that anger does not help, but the real learning begins when someone actually makes us angry. We may understand surrender, but the real test comes when things don’t happen the way we want. We may talk about forgiveness, but life gives us someone we genuinely find difficult to forgive.
Perhaps that is why spiritual growth is not a one-time realisation. We hear, we forget, we struggle, we remember, we try again—and slowly, something begins to change.
Maybe satsang does not immediately change us. It plants a seed. Our experiences water it. And with enough awareness and practice, the seed may eventually become part of who we are.
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Shanti says:
Great honest question answered so practically n truthfully.
Thanks Vimlu ( Vimlu is my maiden name 😊)
I do think this is everyone’s pedicament….
the very fact that Anonymous asked this question shows we all want to transform but repeated get stuck somewhere.
Viveeta says; Yesterday we learned that satsang plants a seed, our experiences water it, and with enough practice , the seed may become part of who we are!
This is so true . I feel myself changing in so many ways and then all of a sudden I face a situation or someone and all the emotions come back . It’s difficult to forget but I think the seed is growing bigger as time goes by and hopefully, one day I will be able to forgive and forget . 🙏
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You know what koan is? ( Japanese) it is short sentence that can change your way of thinking and therefore your life.
A koan is a short saying, question, or story used in Zen Buddhism to shake us out of our habitual way of thinking. It may appear illogical or even absurd, but it can reveal an assumption we didn’t realise we were making.
A famous example is:
“What is the sound of one hand clapping?”
You cannot answer it through ordinary logic. The question invites you to think out of the box.
Sometimes we need one sentence that unsettles the way we have been looking at life.
I experienced a ‘koan’ in my life which changed my way of thinking. I would be unhappy because my husband travelled all the time and I was lonely.
And a close philosophical friend said to me laughingly: Shakun what’s wrong with you? You have put all your eggs in one basket? ‘Implying does all your happiness belong to this situation in your life?
And I started to divert and fill myself and my time with learning all that I could learn…and I did feel lonesome sometimes, but it stopped being the source of all my unhappiness.
And also suddenly, i could see my life from a different angle.
My husband hadn’t necessarily changed.
His travelling hadn’t necessarily changed. My circumstances may have remained the same. But the way i looked at my circumstances changed.
Until then, my happiness had become too dependent on one person being present. My friend’s question helped me recognise that I could love my husband deeply without making him the sole source of my happiness.
And what did I do? I began to fill my own life—with learning, exploring, thinking, and discovering. I didn’t stop loving my husband. I expanded my world.
That is the beauty of such a question. It doesn’t necessarily give us new information. It reveals something we hadn’t seen about ourselves.
And there is a subtle distinction here. I wasn’t being told not to need my husband or not to feel lonely. I was being invited to take responsibility for the parts of my life that you could shape ‘me’
Also I was unhappy because my husband was travelling, and that very unhappiness eventually helped me develop a rich inner and intellectual life of my own.
Maybe my friend planted a seed that continued to grow throughout my life.
Can you think of a Koan, a sentence that you heard that made you change the course of your life? Please do share 😊🙏
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Shanti says:
I just appreciate this chat so so much and am definitely using your informative,honest precious spiritual nuggets for awareness n start work in progress…l love all the questions and how you answer profound questions with such simplicity n make me want to be a better, joyous person 🙏🏼🩷
I say: thankyou dear Shanti for your kind words ❤️
Sapna D says:
Very inspiring, Didi! 🙏❤️
For me, the koan was: “You are the designer of your life.”
My niece was talking about herself when she said this, but it set me thinking. And I realised how true it was!
So, why not ask the Universe to help me create the life I want?
I was new to Mumbai and didn’t know many people. There was no Satsang centre nearby, so I couldn’t participate in seva. I had to commute all the way to Bandra.
I wrote a letter to Babaji, explaining that I had moved from Spain and that our Satsang centre was so far away. Surely, there must be others like me who were unable to attend!
Perhaps it was already in the pipeline, but soon enough, a centre opened in Colaba! And I got the opportunity to do seva too. 🙏
At that time, we didn’t have CCI membership, and I wasn’t a member of Indus or IMC either. I love listening to a variety of talks and meeting different kinds of people. I like having a bouquet of experiences in my life!
There were also certain groups I would have loved to be part of. I used to see four or five ladies around whom I felt drawn to, although I had never really met them.
And then, slowly but surely, things began to fall into place. We got our CCI membership, I became a member of Indus and IMC, and, quite amazingly, those very ladies whom I had seen around started connecting with me. Whenever we met or were introduced, they would immediately take my number, and friendships began to blossom!
Today, I can say, very humbly and gratefully, that I have indeed designed my life the way I wanted it to be. ❤️🙏
And to add another little touch to this bouquet of experiences, I heard about Mahjong—and today, I play that too! 😂
Looking back, I feel that when we become clear about what we want, take the necessary steps, and remain open to possibilities, the Universe often finds ways to bring things together.
And I Shakun add:
Maybe designing our lives is not about controlling everything, but about expressing our intentions and then allowing life to unfold. 🙏
So now we have heard about 2 Koans :
1) Don’t put your eggs in one basket
2) You are the designer of your life
Dear Readers , think hard , what changed your life for the better or what made you take a new turn in life? And do share
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Anita P writes:
The koan that helps me in my life is: “Before reacting, try to understand what the other person may be going through.”
Whenever I faced a challenging situation, I would react by blaming my husband. I felt he was responsible and should have everything under control.
A very close friend, who was part of our lives, noticed something I had failed to see. My husband was facing his own challenges on several fronts, but I had either turned a blind eye to them or simply failed to register them.
One day, when things were difficult, the blame game surfaced once again. My friend gently drew my attention to the difficulties my husband was dealing with. The words literally shook me. I realised how self-centred I had been, looking only at my own difficulties and expectations.
Had these words come from my husband, I might have felt he was merely being defensive. But coming from a friend to whom I was more open, they became an eye-opener.
From that day onwards, whenever I find myself in a difficult situation, I try to pause and consider the other person’s limitations, struggles and circumstances. I may not always succeed, but this awareness helps me react less and understand more. As a result, I find myself handling difficult situations with greater calmness.
Sometimes, a single question can change the way we see another person—and, in doing so, change the way we live.
And I , Shakun add:
Maybe the most important part of your story is that you didn’t stop loving your husband or expecting things from him. You simply began to see him as a person with his own struggles, rather than only as the person responsible for solving yours. 🙏
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Viveeta exclaims :
Superb! I truly identify with it!
With what? That before reacting understand what the other person may be going through !
Huri says:
THANK YOU SO INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND THIS!
Aasha says:
🙏🙏 …happy to know from other’s experiences that reveal how much power there is in being positive and thus able to attract what we want in our life. Our Life is a canvas and we do have the ability to design and paint the picture we desire in our lives 👌🌷😇🙏
I , Shakun think that she is trying to say: …that the experiences shared by others show how a positive thought or belief can influence the way we live and help us create the life we want.
She seems to be connecting the idea of a koan with the power of positive thinking and manifestation. Her message is that we are not merely passive recipients of life; we have some power to shape it through our thoughts, attitudes and choices.
She is , expressing the broader lesson she has drawn from the discussion.
In simple words, she means: “Listening to other people’s experiences reminds her that the way we think matters. If we remain positive and believe in what we want, we can help create the ( more peaceful) life we desire.”
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Deepika says:
My koan was:
“Nobody is coming to save you. You have to make it happen for yourself.”
Visualise your dreams as if they are already your reality.
Be absolutely clear about what you want, focus your thoughts, and work towards making that vision a part of your life.
I began designing my life when I was just nine years old!
I studied at Loreto Tara Hall, Shimla. Our principal, Mother Concilio, once asked us to write an essay on how we imagined ourselves twenty years into the future.
I wrote down my dreams, and so did my best friend, Geetanjali Kirloskar, now associated with the Kirloskar family that owns Toyota dealerships. Nobody believed us!
Yet, in our own ways, we began weaving the lives we had imagined that day. We embraced the hardships as part of the journey and kept moving forward, allowing the Universe to hold us in its arms as we lived out our dreams.
Looking back, I feel deeply grateful to the Almighty for the beautiful life I have been blessed with.
I am also grateful for the love and support of my husband and children, who have been an important part of the person I am today. ❤️
I , Shakun say:
What an inspiring story! To have a vision at nine and to see it unfold through the years is truly beautiful. Maybe the magic lies not only in visualising our dreams, but also in having the courage to work towards them, embrace the hardships and keep faith in the journey. And when we look back, we realise how much we have been blessed along the way. 🙏
Perhaps your koan taught you two things: to take responsibility for creating the life you want, and to have faith in the journey, even when it brings unexpected challenges.
I wonder whether we design our lives entirely, or whether we do our bit and the Universe adds its own colours to our canvas! 😊
And maybe the greatest blessing is to look back, recognise how far we have travelled, and say, “Thank you, God, for it all.” 🙏
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Roshni says:
I don’t know if this qualifies as a koan, but once, when I was upset about something, I wanted to confront the other person, believing I was standing up for myself.
My son asked me a simple question: “What are you hoping to achieve by doing that?”
That one sentence made me pause. I realised that the other person would probably become defensive, the situation would escalate, and nothing constructive would come out of it.
So I calmed down and let it go.
Since then, I have tried to ask myself the same question before reacting. It has helped me realise that standing up for myself doesn’t always mean confronting someone. Sometimes, it is wiser to let things go, conserve my energy, and make myself stronger.
One simple question taught me that before reacting, I should first understand what I hope to achieve. 🙏
I Shakun say:
What a wonderful example of how one simple question can change our perspective!
I particularly like the distinction between standing up for ourselves and reacting in the heat of the moment. Sometimes, before asking what we should say or do, we need to ask ourselves, “What do I hope to achieve?”
Perhaps the real strength lies not in winning an argument, but in knowing when a response will help and when silence will serve us better. 🙏
Letting go of an impulsive reaction doesn’t mean suppressing our feelings. It may simply mean waiting until both people are calm enough to listen to each other. The same point, expressed at the right time, can lead to understanding rather than defensiveness.
Maybe wisdom is not always about knowing what to say, but also when to say it. 🙏
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Continuing the above discussion , Mani’s reply to Roshni :
There is great wisdom in knowing when to let go. Our ego tells us to prove our point and have the last word. But sometimes, stepping back and allowing a matter to pass without reacting is a greater achievement.
Of course, letting go does not mean accepting injustice or remaining silent when something important is at stake. In the Mahabharata, Krishna tells Arjuna that he must stand up and fight for what is right, even when it means going against his own people.
The real challenge is knowing when to let go and when to stand firm.
As human beings, we are often held back by doubt, fear and ego. Overcoming these is not easy, but perhaps our spiritual journey is about learning to recognise them, rise above them, and make the right choices despite them.
It is a lifelong struggle, but one worth undertaking. 🙏
I , Shakun share:
When I don’t know what to do, I prefer to do nothing for the time being. I pray for guidance and wait for clarity. Almost always—maybe even always—a clear answer eventually emerges.
Sometimes, I may still have doubts about whether I am making the right decision. But when I look back, I find that the outcome was the best possible one.
Perhaps there is wisdom in not rushing to act, trusting the process, and allowing clarity to come in its own time. For me, it is also an act of surrender—doing my best and leaving the rest to Krishna. 🙏❤️
Shanti says:
Vimlu, ( Vimlu is my maiden name) you really have been guided to give such upliftg conclusions…. every time I learn something from your down to earth wisdom.
I, Shakun say:
Shanti, I’m truly grateful for your generous appreciation. ❤️ The thoughts experiences, questions, reflections and ideas are largely my own, though I do use AI to help me develop and refine my writing. It’s a useful companion in helping me express what I think and feel more clearly.
But the real joy is in exploring these ideas together and learning from one another. 🙏❤️
10
As we come to the end of our discussion on “Why don’t we walk the talk?”, I would like to leave you with a simple thought.
Over the years, many of us have read books on philosophy and spirituality, attended satsangs and listened to wise teachers. How much of it do we actually remember? And how much do we manage to practise in our daily lives?
We sometimes feel disappointed with ourselves because, despite all this knowledge, we still react with anger, fear, doubt or irritation. We know what we should do, yet we don’t always do it.
But let me offer you another way of looking at it.
Do you remember what you ate last week, or even what you ate on this very day last year? Probably not! Yet that food nourished your body and helped keep you healthy.
In the same way, perhaps all the wisdom we have read, heard and reflected upon has nourished us spiritually, even when we cannot recall the exact words or put every teaching into practice.
Not everything we hear becomes a koan that changes our lives overnight. Some thoughts stay with us consciously; others quietly influence the way we think, respond and understand people. We may not even realise that we have changed until we look back.
So, please don’t be dejected because you haven’t become the person you think you should be, despite all the spiritual knowledge you have gathered.
Growth does not always announce itself. Sometimes, it happens quietly, without our even noticing it.
Let us continue to read, listen, reflect and practise—not with the expectation of becoming perfect, but with the willingness to become a little more aware each day.
After all, we are all works in progress. And perhaps the very fact that we keep asking these questions means that the journey is still alive within us. 🙏❤️
