In my last portion of Dal-sabzi, I had explained that ‘Holi’ meant ‘ho liya so ho liya’ which means ‘allow bygones to be bygones’.
In that context, someone has said that it is reasonably easy to forgive, but it is very difficult to forget! Interestingly he speaks about ‘deep wounds inflicted…’
I believe that emotional wounds like physical wounds have to be initially tended to. e.g.:- A fracture hurts miserably. One has to go to the doctor and have the physical part put into plaster. After that, there is very little one can do except allow nature to take its own course. TIME HEALS.
Similarly, after one decides to forgive. One does not forget immediately. Allow time to elapse. Do not dwell too much on all that transpired. And time will do its trick. One fine morning you will wake up realizing that you have not only forgiven but forgotten.
Remember that to forget is beneficial to you also.
A forwarded email message that I received has adhered to my mind.
It stated that ‘not forgiving’ was like carrying a sack of potatoes, wherever one went. The potatoes rot and stink, but one goes on with the horrible task.
But we all do it!
Because one holds on to emotions of self pity and resentment.
Also one gets identified with the unhappy feelings of emotional wounds inflicted in the past. And that is not all, one keeps the process alive by compulsive thinking.
The irony is, that if one lets go of these negative feelings, one lets go of grief.
If grief leaves, a torrent of Life energy floods, and there, emotional, spiritual and physical disease cannot enter.
Easier said than done.
Arjuna told Krishna just that. That it was not easy to follow the Spiritual Truths (that Krishna taught) which lead to Enlightenment and Freedom.
Krishna answered that what is difficult, can be attained with practice and perseverance.
Sometimes one needs to forgive oneself.
Some circumstances, from the past make one feel unworthy and not deserving of forgiveness.
BREAK THAT MIND PATTERN!
I read somewhere sometime back that one needs to forgive others, oneself and Life for all that one has endured. Only then will true freedom be achieved.
‘Not forgiving’ is self inflicted suffering. How much longer does one need to bear it?
Say YES to whatever ‘IS’ now and let go of the past!
I got another email message which taught, that when someone hurts you:
“write it down in the sand, where the winds of forgiveness get in charge of erasing it away, and when something great happens, engrave it in the stone of the memory of the heart, where no wind can erase it”
If one believes people who behaved in a certain way and hurt us in the process, had a choice over their actions; also believe that one has the choice not to be unhappy over it.
If one can create ones misery, one must believe that one can also create ones joy.
OK I can hear you saying that “I can forgive, but I cannot forget.”
I believe that hurt is like a physical wound. You can medicate it, keep it clean, and covered. Nature and Time will cure it. If you scratch the wound, it will get re-infected and will take longer to heal.
Gautama Buddha says: Holding on to anger is like holding on to a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.
The Quran urges Muslims: “Be foremost in seeking forgiveness” (51:1)
Jesus spoke from the Cross: “Father, forgive them (executioners) for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34)
Mahatma Gandhi: An eye for an eye leaves the world blind
Something more to think about
Overcome anger by learning to tolerate other’s weaknesses. I have heard that people who inflict pain are very insecure.
People who forgive have lower blood pressure, and therefore are less at a risk of getting strokes or heart attacks. They suffer less stress, head aches and back aches …
Am reading ‘The kite runner’ by Khaled Hosseini
Cannot put it down…hmmm…the truth is… that I read it at any free time that I have…
Sharing some lines that made me think…
“…Now no matter what the mullah teaches , there is only one sin, only one. And that is theft. Every other sin is a variation of theft…When you kill a man you steal a life, you steal his wife’s right to a husband, rob his children of a father. When you tell a lie, you steal someone’s right to the truth. When you cheat, you steal the right to fairness…”